Tuesday, September 25, 2007

From Dusk to day

Took away from me,what meant the world.
Tore apart, all relations, prayers effete.
Gushed through the windows, tales unheard

A silent sensation, of pricking defeat.

Unremitting reconnaissance of the sepulcher,

Where laid to rest is the crux.
Untold, untouched, emotions don’t alter
Though for all, life is set to dusk..

The wolverines, on this earth wassail,
And the faultless left to wail.
Where am I living today?
Is killing my sentiments,
so true, at all just?
Still surviving in this barbaric planet.
With tears in eyes,

Where, smiling is a must.

Should I still hope, for a new sun to arise?
Can I still believe in the existence of fading cries?
Realization of self has dawned upon me now.
It is me, here to change the world, and I shall show you how.
I have brought along a promise of a brand new morning sky.
Just believe in me and trust yourself; And you will be flying high.


Life as I perceive

What is black, always may not be coal tar.
Every driver may not ride a dazzling silver car.
Sometimes the reality is very near,
but other times,
Its just too far.

Sometimes the eyes shine and hide the deadliest fear.

However much you express something, they just may not be clear.

Sometimes the victim of misunderstandings, is someone, just too dear.

At times you walk the road, you never thought you would.
And at times you excel where, you never thought you could.

Not always, not just sometimes,
The echoing sound of cheers,
Hides behind it, the silent but endless flow of tears.

This is life as I perceive.

With you as long as,
In it you believe.


Abstract Feelings

Silence is a distinctive feature,
Of an emotion,
Which resides now, in my soul.
When my lips move with,
An urge of expression,
And quiescence plays the lead role.

When my hands, yearn to hold,
Someone close to my chest
And I want to loose my self,
And forget the rest.

When, the night sky, makes me grow fonder
Of someone,
And it is that one voice, I want to hear.
Then I sleep on the lap of a breathing dream,
Finally, I am in love , my dear .


Ashes Again

I made a small wooden toy.
It took me years to make it.
I’d play with it, I’d love it…
I’d caress it ..
I thought.
I thought , I’d treasure it…
Till the day I grew up.
So that, someday, I
Could show the world,
How much I loved it.
I wanted to show the world,
That I loved it enough,
Not to replace it with some plastic toy.
But one day, it left me.
It stood inside a hard box,
Wrapped with some colored paper.
For the first time, I did not,
But it replaced me.
It replaced me for a big boy,
Who’d keep it in a showcase.
Who would not play with it.
Who would not destroy it.
Who would let it stay as it was.
I wish I had the chance to do the same too.
I burnt the remaining wood, I had.
Took the ash in my hand and wondered.
It would have someday left me, either this way,
Or the other.
I have put that ash in a bottle, and stirred in some water.
I play with this bottle now.
It’s no more the wooden toy now.
It’s the bottle I play with.
Nobody wants to take it away.
It is all mine.
It reminds me of the toy I made,
But doesn’t let me go back to it.
My bottle of ash and water,
Cannot be ashes again.


I don't want him to be my lover

The words he speaks, the way he looks at me;
Will not let me feel forlorn.
Why does he have to do this with me ?
Why can’t he just let me be alone?

Why does he make me feel warm, With him around?
Why doesn’t he leave me and go away?
What is the reason, behind his love profound?
When I doubt that he is here to stay …

Why does he touch me as if,
There’s nothing else around, than me?
Why does he look at me as if,
There is nothing else that he can see.

Why does he make me feel as if,
I’m doing him wrong?
Why does he make me smile by humming,
That silly love song.

Why does he want me to hold his hands?
When I know it will just be a matter of few weeks…
Why does he want me to take, once more this chance?
Why can’t I avoid those blushes on the cheeks?

I don’t want him to win me over,
I don’t want this to happen to me once again.
I don’t want him to be my lover.
Because the penalty of love, is just tears and pain.


Enough of "Him"

It has been enough of he and he,
Now the word I live is “I”
He left me beside the gushing sea,
And I left without a sigh.

There is this bright morning sky,
Waiting to show me a better tomorrow.
When he left my hand without a cry…
Why should I live in sorrow?

The love, the kisses and the hugs,
All so false and fake.
There’s no reason why I should be stuck,
In all the lies he’d make.

While I pack up to walk ahead,
Let him float in the world of fancies and whims.
For now , he has lost the bet.
The loser my dear, is not me , but him.


Want to be with somebody

I want to hold a hand,
But not let it hold my life.

At the sea shore, I want to make houses of sand.
But not , myself be, so fragile.

I want somebody to bother for,
My every little thing,
And I want to be myself,
In all I speak and think.

I want to see a dream,
With somebody in my arms.

But I don’t want my individuality ,
To loose its charm.

I want to dance with somebody,
To a beautiful song.
And I want to remember always,
To where I belong.

I want to be with somebody,
Who doesn’t shy away from being true.
Has to be someone, who knows , that,
He if can , I can do it too.


Searching for evidences

I looked for myself, in the mirror.
Couldn’t mange to look through,
The skin and the flesh.
All I could see , was a lost soul.
All I feel , was, emotions,
True, but in a mess.
I was looking for evidences, of life,
Within me.

While I was lost, in my thoughts,
Of self judgment, of things,
That troubled me no end,
That moment, an angel , dressed in
A pink frock, came to me.
She smiled, and winked at me.
I had seen her before.
May be about, a decade and a half earlier.
When I used to be her.
When I did the same to people,
What she did to me today.

I looked into my heart for once,
And I found it this time.
I found, all the evidences of life in me.
I chuckled, just like the angel did.
And knew that, she will come to me,
Every time I question my existence,
And prove me wrong.


He was "Himself"

His master had told him once ,
“We shall cross that bridge someday, as the great men had done.”
The master began his first try,
Eyes numb with fear, and throat dry.
There were people who had fallen off, and never come back.
And he stared at his master with eyes so blank.
The master took a few steps, and merrily rejoiced.
The moment that followed , was gory, he fell off and died.
He stood there on the cliff, and watched his master disappear.
It was his turn now, to cross the bridge, his heart captivated in fear.
There was not a moment , that he could feel and treasure.
His eyes were filled with, indifference to pain and pleasure.
He knew he too, would die, just as his master had.
All he knew not was, that, there was somebody praying,
To take away from him , the bad.

He closed his eyes, and stepped on the bridge.
His forehead, waited for the, death’s kiss.
But every time, it came near him, the spell,
Of his selflessness, gave death, a miss.
He knew not, but he had reached the other side.
The bridge was crossed, and it was no longer a night.

Somebody’s prayers were answered,
He finally fought his fears.
He thanked the bridge, for not letting him die,
With a silent flow of tears.

He saw his master die, he suffered pain and anxiety,
Yet he walked ahead.
He thought it was the end, he accepted it quietly.
It was a new beginning instead.

He saw someone die, yet took a chance
And did not hide in a shell.
For, under the open blue sky, he was not his master,
He was himself.


Rusted chains of matrimony-the loss of a permanent lover

Years of losses and pains;
Now to be felt once again.
The cheer from his life is gone,
But he still awaits a dawn.

He thinks she will walk from,
Among the clouds.
He talks of her and doesn’t know,
What he is talking about.

He dreams of her day and night,
With not a glimpse oh her , in his sight.

Now she has broken the rusted chains,
Of matrimony.
Guess, they didn’t have a clue of,
Something called agony.

The fights and trifles over things so small.
Caused them to live, and then end, to fall.

Why did they come together,
When it was all so untrue?
What was the need,
To make life, a curfew.

The hands they held, are the hands that hurt.
The two hearts together, are torn apart.

Yet still, why do the tears make way through the eyes?
Why do their hearts still suffer ?
Is it the loss of just another relation?
Or is the loss of a permanent lover ?


The Vibes of Convention, donot touch me anymore

I smile to myself,
Thinking of the person I have become.
Things have left me to this world,
And left me bewildered numb.
I’ve not forgotten the pains,
That in my heart I bore,
The vibes of convention,
Do not touch me anymore.

Pains of the earth,
And those of my eyes, combined.
Call out loud, my soul.
They are yet not well defined.
Should I cry for the loss of my love?
Or should I weep to the childless mother?
When I solve just one mystery,
I move on looking for another.
I’ve not forgotten the promises,
The tomorrow has in store.
The vibes of convention,
Do not touch me anymore.

I do not go looking for answers,
Some place else…
It is around self introspection,
Where my life dwells.
The things I think,
Its time to spread them around.
Nothing else, but my faith in self,
Has to be the standing ground.
Without alteration of thoughts,
I repeat what I said before,
The vibes of convention,
Do not touch me anymore.



When we met it was a matter of hours,
Before, I knew I fell in love with you.
The chocolates, cakes and the bunch of flowers
Of every shade of every hue..
Holding hands forever,
And walking side by side…
Oh! What a fool I was ,
To dream to live with you beside.
Oh it kills …
To know how unreal it is ,
When a guy holds your hand.
Oh it kills …
To know how unreal it is,
When he says he understands.
When he says he’ll be with you forever,
And walks away, to come back never…
Now it is just another story,
You and me poles apart.
Oh yes I know what was the hurry,
To steal away my heart.
The fascination in your eyes for me,
Was just , all so fake.
You wanted to make me someone else,
With our love at stake…
Oh it kills …
To know how unreal it is ,
When a guy holds your hand.
Oh it kills …
To know how unreal it is,
When he says he understands.
When he says he’ll be with you forever,
And walks away, to come back never…
My heart now screams…
With unreal dreams…
You’ll know someday how it feels..
To know the way you’re living is all unreal…


Emotional Holocaust

The night was a monster
And life, a pun.
His heart was the holster,
And the truth, his gun.

The words were shot,
And the soul was lost.
She was left to rot,
In emotional holocaust.

Every word he spoke,
Gave a new pain to her,
Such a decent bloke!!
How could he err?

The gleam in her eyes,
Was lost to tears,
Doing good was vice,
And her love, her fear.

He held a different hand,
And lived away in glory.
Lost in emotional holocaust,
Here ends her story.


Love Afterall..

I didn’t have to ask, I didn’t have to question,
I knew I fell in love with you.
It was not an easy task, to hide an emotion,
With you in my mind, in all I do.

Of all the things you gave to me,
I remember that one bright smile.
Whoever to me so close could be,
And be with me all the while.

It’s none but you, my love of life,
Whom I can see in everything.
And so comforted are, now my eyes,
That they weep at the joys you bring.

I won’t lie to you dear,
Yes, I wished you were mine.
But losing you is now, not a fear,
As, even your presence, is so divine.

Ever you need, a shoulder to cry on,
There I shall, always be.
Ever you need, a hand to hold on,
I’ll be there, you’ll see.

I’ll live with you , in my memories
I’ll not let a drop of tear fall.
And this is how, I’ll set me free…
This is love after all…


Take me along with you

I have never been to me,
Hold my hand and take me there.
Its only you who can see ,
Through all my pains and despair.

Its nobody but you, whom I really adore
Whether you believe it or not,
I’ll share all your pains ,I assure
Without even a second thought.

I know you plan to leave me all alone,
And move to a place just new.
As the memories of a crazy little gal who loves you
take me along with you.


Looking back again

At the side of the sea…
Amidst…all that scream of the sea waves..
I did sit holding his hands… on the rocks…
In my dreams..
Under that old tree…
Under the shadow of it that saves….
I did sit with him… heard him fondly talk…
In my dreams…
In the rustling of trees…
In the old diaries…
I did want him to find me…
In his dreams…
In the silent breeze..
And every time he’d sneeze…
I did want him to want me…
In his dreams…
A penetrating pain…in my heart though…
Troubles me for long still…
The celebrating eyes ...that my love does show…
Though against my will…
Has now taken the place of incompleteness…
And filled it up with trust…
That I may even be no more…
But my love will never rust…

Just one desire I shall make…
Before closing my eyes…
Wherever above I shall stay…
I’d love to see him truly smile..


This Rain Remins me of you

The clouds are crowding over,
The red flowers are covering the path,
And I long to have you as my lover..
as pearls of love.. Give the earth a bath.

i stand on my terrace, with eyes shut..
And arms open wide...
And feel the droplets, soaking me in water..
From where the dreams reside..

The smell of wet mud, creeps into my heart..
And awakes a sleeping desire..
That I be a kid again.
I wish time was a liar...

I could run to you anytime, any how,,
with my blushes reigning the tug..
I could say in your ears that I love you..
And give you a long hug...


Oh this beautiful Dream!

Feelings untold and voices unheard
These are the things which work the best when revealed…
They are in just the heart, well pampered,
Even though they never hide, however hard concealed.
No name, no words,
Nothing comes to my mind when,
When , I sit here,
And wait for you at my window pane.
Just a song, all around in me, in your voice,
Says you’re coming , coming my way.
Oh ! this beautiful dream.
I wish it would some day come true.
Away from all shouts and screams
I wish it would be just me and you.
I wish I could tell you ,
How much you mean to me.
I wish it was just you,
Who through my eyes would see,
The world so calm and nice.
And would show me a new heaven through your eyes.
Oh ! this beautiful dream.
I wish it would some day come true.
Away from all shouts and screams
I wish it would be just me and you.
I wish and just keep wishing
That someday you rise above just appreciation.
And come into my arms as a long awaited blessing,
Some day you understand what have I to say,
Without me moving my lips.
And with you by my side,
The days like a handful of sand till death, slips.
Oh ! this beautiful dream.
I wish it would some day come true.
Away from all shouts and screams
I wish it would be just me and you.